Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Collusion

I see the collusion of this illusion, its funny to watch it endure. Still you and i try while we see the lie, its time's not so long now I'm sure. So try not to faint when i knock at your gate with a date to the sparkling core. Its really too late, you can only stagnate, while I dance at your grave wanting more.

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Its been quite a discovery for me and it feels like a liberating revelation as it sinks through my being.

I recently spent a week in Spain doing group work with 23 amazing people. It was a great place to clearly see how we were all colluding to keep ourselves small and in roles.

I realised how lonely I had been not meeting people in their true selves. I reaffirmed it was time for me at least to come out and start doing everything I could to meet people in more real ways.

One of the main things I saw that people were afraid of in each other was what I call raw animal nature. Things like rage, anger, wanting to kill and raw sexual desire, these are all ever present with us but we seem to do everything we can to keep them hidden away.

I'm sad about that because this keeps our energy down and I think is one of the main causes of disease and depression. The more of this that becomes accepted integrated in a person the more strength and vitality they have.

I want to bring that more and more into my life. One of the best ways is to hang out with people that are not afraid of you when you show up in this way.

As this experience sinks in my whole body has been continuing to change inside. Its a process that started around six months ago and has been accelerating. The closest thing I have come across that describes this is what I have read about in kundalini texts. In daoisim I think it would be described as your core channels opening.

Its scary and exhilarating all at the same time. I am glad to have many years of chi gung under my belt, i can feel how much it has prepared my body, helping to smooth out and integrate the whole experience.