My vulnerability

I am am so happy you are in my life
I feel like a baby wanting
I am so happy to feel you are there
Though I feel frighted and get lost in my fears
I live to share with you my joy
Yet I fall from the light into dark

My heart fills when I still find you there
I'l give you my heart whilst I laugh


...


Over the years I have been very harsh on myself about making mistakes, trying to be perfect in ones own eyes is such a drag, especially if you think you are quite good at it, and then you fall short. I don't want any more trying to be perfect about anything.

Instead I am learning to be perfect in whatever happens. How big can I screw up and be perfect ? Freedom and self love will dance a merry tune.

Exist

Will you allow me to exist
Your eyes I please I know
Will you allow me to exist
When I know you want me close
Will you allow me to exist
When i burn so hot you melt
Will you allow me to exist
When I am, you are no more

more chickens

pink chickens are in the air, pink chickens are in the air

we all stare

and why do we care

because they are in the air, just flying there

Collusion

I see the collusion of this illusion, its funny to watch it endure. Still you and i try while we see the lie, its time's not so long now I'm sure. So try not to faint when i knock at your gate with a date to the sparkling core. Its really too late, you can only stagnate, while I dance at your grave wanting more.

---

Its been quite a discovery for me and it feels like a liberating revelation as it sinks through my being.

I recently spent a week in Spain doing group work with 23 amazing people. It was a great place to clearly see how we were all colluding to keep ourselves small and in roles.

I realised how lonely I had been not meeting people in their true selves. I reaffirmed it was time for me at least to come out and start doing everything I could to meet people in more real ways.

One of the main things I saw that people were afraid of in each other was what I call raw animal nature. Things like rage, anger, wanting to kill and raw sexual desire, these are all ever present with us but we seem to do everything we can to keep them hidden away.

I'm sad about that because this keeps our energy down and I think is one of the main causes of disease and depression. The more of this that becomes accepted integrated in a person the more strength and vitality they have.

I want to bring that more and more into my life. One of the best ways is to hang out with people that are not afraid of you when you show up in this way.

As this experience sinks in my whole body has been continuing to change inside. Its a process that started around six months ago and has been accelerating. The closest thing I have come across that describes this is what I have read about in kundalini texts. In daoisim I think it would be described as your core channels opening.

Its scary and exhilarating all at the same time. I am glad to have many years of chi gung under my belt, i can feel how much it has prepared my body, helping to smooth out and integrate the whole experience.

Conciousness + Credit + Iceland + Greece

So the Greeks are capitulating and taking the loan, accepting debt slavery for the time being. Seems old Mount Olympus has been dormant too long. Iceland who crashed earlier look like they are heading toward some fundamental change. Their internal report on the situation does not look like a white wash and they are talking about making Iceland a safe haven for journalists so this can be exposed in the rest of the world.

I love the apparent metaphor of the the volcano in Iceland. Recently the unanimous vote to say no to more debt, Iceland starts to break out of debt slavery for real, days after the vote the volcano goes off.

The first local nation state is breaking free of the debt slavery system, maybe the gods are speaking. Its seismic and there is more to come.

Its all about consciousness of responsibility.. credit when used (given or received) in this way is not responsible.. in any human relationship.

-----

If i were purely physical matter how could i be self aware.. i see and i know i see. Apparently, this is my consciousness. This is Reflexive apparency as the knowing of the seeing makes it obvious that what you are seeing is not all that is, reflexive and apparent :)

Reflexive apparency of pseudo transparency, forgetting then letting the world be its fantasy. Reflexive apparency is a holographic panace, answers in everything, a fractal veracity. Reflexive apparency a maddening mediocrity, the moon and me spinning meaninglessly. Reflexive apparency is choosing endlessly, free to be all eventuality

not alot going on in us then

My air is your air, my water is your water, my particles are your particles and the physical me is the physical you separate only by make believe grandfather time in the ever-inflating bubble of the speed of light. Experienced as forms of the formless, we dance the holographic happening of myriad-mirrored perspective, ...me with you in me and you with me in you. Constant, timeless and still

twinkle toe

When a blue banana meets a pink chicken a flumposaur will start to snore, the whore snore ghost our christmas host is really not so far, a twinkle toe a tiny glow a sprinkle snow i know i know, a little weep and not to keep can help you sleep without a peep

Ode to the dog on the log

Inspired by Katie Fin Fin

To the dog on the log on a date with his mate
who was dancing around chanting pieces of eight

He said here there mate just sit on yer crate so
we can get on and enjoy what we have with this here date

I am happy and see I'm dancing for me, his mate said with
a gait that you would slate was the paragon fate of free and fine fandangaree.

The dog on the log spoke with a slow knowing nod to his god in the log on the bog of the dog with the prize of the wise.

You will listen to me and you will certainly see, I'll talk to god while i sit on my log and you can fuck of with your jamboree spree. Oh i can be knowing and so worldly wise and then you will miss out on the ultimate prize.

Your gods not for me i am to jamboree, logs and bogs are not me see! I'll have pieces of eight and dance on yer crate and you can come and join me there anytime mate.

You better be wary just look out for me and know you cant truly be fancy free. I'll kick over the crate and take your pieces of eight, we can end this date before it gets late.

Bully for you, you stingy poo is that really what you want to do..

Oh yes Oh yes i love to stew cos then i have control of you.

And so the dog on the log on the bog in the fog found god and god was proud of the dog and vowed that what will be will be so we can see in that we are truly free

Hungry Terrasplatotamous

Big nuts and funny chickens all chasing round this world of wisdom, this world of boobs and finery that is so simple its hard to be three, where three is out and twos not one and i only know my humble bum, a humble bumble dumble toe that feels the ice in melting snow, its fun its easy its hard its rough its chickens and nuggets and pickles and cheese, its a hungry terrasplatotamous with ease !

Forsaken mind

where are these places of magical mind that I have forsaken for totally blind

I feel the soup of a new mystery where we are all children careless and free

Who knows but your toes in a tangerine dream of a world in our image that's so crumbly

I think and I feel and I have an idea that the scene in our making is me oh just me

Oh

Oh so i seem to write these when i am in my head.. or sometimes i write these when i am in my heart, and i found something new in my head

Oh follow the heart say the wise and the wise

But what does that mean in this funny old world, this funny old world we find our selves meeting in..

The boy looked to the skies..

Well who really knows say the wise to the wise

I find myself thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking

When i should be beating and breathing and breathing.

But should means i am thinking and not really breathing.. but but but

I am all..

Breathing thinking and beating and knowing and not knowing and knowing again..

Oh

There is nothing to do then ?

Unless there is something to do.

Oh

But is it fun..

Or is it surely on the way to fun.. for you.. individually you..

Then there is something to do