I am am so happy you are in my life
I feel like a baby wanting
I am so happy to feel you are there
Though I feel frighted and get lost in my fears
I live to share with you my joy
Yet I fall from the light into dark
My heart fills when I still find you there
I'l give you my heart whilst I laugh
...
Over the years I have been very harsh on myself about making mistakes, trying to be perfect in ones own eyes is such a drag, especially if you think you are quite good at it, and then you fall short. I don't want any more trying to be perfect about anything.
Instead I am learning to be perfect in whatever happens. How big can I screw up and be perfect ? Freedom and self love will dance a merry tune.
Today I filmed some of my training session so I could watch myself to see how my form was coming along.
The lighting was nice so I decided to edit it to some of my piano music.
I am like this bagua video, it fits with the music which always felt a very circular composition to me anyway, playing with the cross fades on the video edit was fun. The music is a part of a piece I wrote called 'someday'. One day I hope to do a high quality recording of the whole piece. On the technical side the circle walking is not properly grounded, so I need to redo that when I can keep the energy right down.
There was about 18 minutes of circle walking I edited down to 4 mins..
And for some weird movements, here is a 4x time sped-up version of me doing a short set of Gods Playing In The Clouds. There are some funny expressions popping out of me. There are two sections where I dropped it back to real speed so you could see the actual motion, but it took way too long to show more at that speed.
Today I want to think about honesty and what that really means. Like the word love, I think it is used but abused in its real meaning.
We all like to think we are honest. But are we really?
I think we can be quite dishonest about honesty. I'll go so far as to say we are well practiced at being dishonest about honesty, in that we think we are honest when on investigation we are not.
Apart from the fact that Honesty is a plant in the mustard family, (with clusters of purple flowers and semitransparent, satiny pods) I'll go with the description in Wikipedia:
"Honesty refers to a facet of moral character and denotes positive, virtuous attributes such as integrity, truthfulness, and straightforwardness along with the absence of lying, cheating, or theft."
lets go with integrity, straightforwardness and the absence of lying as a simplified short form.
A great place to look at honesty or rather dishonesty, is around sexuality. This is where dishonesty is often most visibly played out. This cartoon is a good example of what I mean. But Sexuality is just a focus point, the same dishonesty is occurring in other areas of life .
So why is this the exception rather than the norm ? If people were honest, this would be pretty common, no ? and could you be this honest ? why not ?
Outside of the fulcrum of sexuality, this type of lying is happening every time you don't say or do what you feel in the present moment. In other words, the moment you avoid exactly what you feel, and say or do something unconnected to that truth, you have entered a state of dishonesty and are out of integrity with your real self.
Here are some common examples of this sort of lying that I am sure you see all the time:
- Buying gifts for birthdays or Christmas because its something you are supposed to do rather than feeling like it for a given person
- Finding someone attractive and hiding it
- Finding someone unattractive and hiding it
- Someone asks you how you are doing, and you say OK, when you are not
- Avoiding 'upsetting someone' - this is a big one. e.g Doing anything for someone else because you think you 'should' when you don't feel like it. Or pretending to be interested in a conversation or person when they are simply boring you.
Going with the short definition, I hope all of these examples are clearly not honest, in that they are not any of a) in integrity b) straightforwardness and c) with the absence of lying.
I think you will get from this already that adherence to our common social norms demands a fairly high level of dishonesty. I would go as far as to say being a 'normalized social creature' in the world demands you to be a compulsive liar. Add to this, the lying is policed by other members of society through shaming of anyone who 'comes out' as honest.
When dishonesty gets so well practiced and ingrained, you wont even know you are doing it. It reminds me of the native american phrase spoken of the invaders, 'white man speak with forked tongue...'
Shame and Truth
An important point I want to make is that how you feel in the present moment is an 'irrefutable truth'. There is no possibility of it being incorrect, none. Sure it can change in the next moment, as long as that is true too.
The only way of dealing with this level of truth is through shaming someone for it. And kids get it the worst, imagine how a kid would be shamed if they stated they were finding a teacher boring in class.
Obviously if a kid is yawning in the classroom, it is simply a true fact that the kid is bored, why is that made to be the child's problem ?
Making this in any way a child's issue is how we become trained in shame, our honest innocence as humanity is dehumanized. Only through shame training can we as a society be OK to maintain our existence as compulsive liars. (Parents are often complicit too, or they risk being shamed themselves)
Honesty is a state of innocence.
But we are learned to lie to avoid shame, instead of learning to admit to it, at the same time, we lie to maintain our shame. It is trained in from the beginning of schooling, it is our standard indoctrination.
Whats worse is kids are told not to lie while they are being taught to lie. This type of mixed message is the perfect way to destroy self esteem, building in a good heap of un worth of self, into the now forming 'self image' of a child.
You can link the amount of shame someone has with the amount of lying they do, and how much one feels to deserve to be 'who the really are'. Its obvious really, the least honest people will be those carrying the most shame.
Sadly I believe the extreme example of what I am talking about in relation to children seems to be a root of pedophilia, shame can reach such an extreme that it is acted out in some vain attempt to find purity
Also guilt and shame are linked. If someone has no shame, they simply can not 'feel' guilty. This I believe is the 'natrual' healthy state for a human being. Ie every human has a right to exist as who they are right here and right now. A clear antithesis for example with the christian doctrine of original sin.
If someone carries a lot of shame its easy to have them feel guilty for pretty much anything you want. Charities and religions play off this fact.
The example of this principal in action is do gooding. Any person or group that needs to be seen as doing or being good, is acting dishonestly (and will carry their own shame for doing so). Doing good needs no social sanction, wanting one (social sanction) proves you have no belief in your own action, you are acting against your true belief. Its dishonest.
The more I have understood this, the more I have seen it to be common in our world. A good word for the Dishonesty of honesty is Hypocrisy. Its a bigger word so I normally just go with lying.
It became clear to me that when this lying or hypocrisy becomes instituinalised, the institution itself that becomes the purpetrator. School is a good example of the perpetrator of our shame, but religions can often be more extreme. The most extreme example I can think of is how the Catholic church can state its acting for good while in reality is the worlds biggest known operational pedophile system.
The Presence of Honesty
I want to bring the discussion round to being present. As I covered in my love article (which is essentialy about honesty too)
You dont have a hope of being present while you are not being honest with how you feel (especially to anyone who is close to you). The two just dont go together. The moment you are honest with how you feel, bang you are present !
So being truly honest means being present, they are the same thing. Its why I called this post 'The Presence of Honesty' thats what its all about.
The presence of honesty, in this case ideally your own, will expose the hypocrisy of do gooding, and/or spirituality in yourself and who and what else you relate to. In this light you can see any teaching that supports acts of dishonesty in your feelings, while teaching its 'good', is simply hypocritical.
JC was big on this hypocrisy stuff, probably a good reason they strung him up.
"Beware of practicing your piety before men in order to be seen by them; for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. Thus, when you give alms, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by men. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your alms may be in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you. And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by men. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you." (Matthew 6:1-6 RSV)
(actually i don't think its why they strung him up, I reckon its more because he went around telling people they were truly innocent. By saying 'your sins are forgiven' he absolved people of the shame and guilt that made them beholden to religions and control structures of the day. Its that that made his words dangerous)
I have had alot of fun with being honest over the years, it can take you to some very unexpected places and get some unexpected reactions. Sometimes the most honest thing for me to do when someone talks to me is to say nothing. That i found to be for me the most personally challenging, it's so counter cultural but so incredibly liberating to stay present and not have to make up words, when nothing feels true to be stated.
True honesty as opposed to hypoctical honesty which does not encompass your feelings is something I recommend if presence is an important goal for you.
And especially if health, happiness and longevity are things that matter to you, shame is not a good thing to be building up inside your body. If you went to school or church, I reckon its likely you have some to recognize and unlearn.
A final point on honesty in society that I think is relevant. While we continue to support our own dishonesty in ways I have outlined, I believe we will continue to support institutions such as Governments and Spiritual establishments that support hiding things from us.
I don't think asking 'them' to change before we are prepared to look at our own lie is honest in this regard.
Will you allow me to exist
Your eyes I please I know
Will you allow me to exist
When I know you want me close
Will you allow me to exist
When i burn so hot you melt
Will you allow me to exist
When I am, you are no more
To "call a spade a spade" is to speak honestly and directly about a topic, to speak plainly - to describe something as it really is.
I wanted to think about the word love and what it means. I know about loving your food, your car or your new dress but I think passion for, or excitement are more appropriate in this context. I want to talk about love the ‘higher emotion’, as applied to relationships. St. Thomas Aquinas, following Aristotle, defines love as "to will the good of another." Philosopher Gottfried Leibniz said that love is "to be delighted by the happiness of another."
I think of love as ‘wanting for another what they want for themselves’. I have heard this described as unconditional love, but surely this ‘unconditionallity’ is really what defines the grown up 'higher emotion' of love, as opposed to the needy love of a child.
Loving unconditionally is not just saying 'I love you' to get needs met. It’s the old phrase 'if you love someone, set them free', but in action rather than in concept. In action, means not doing it (setting someone free) because 'you think you should', but because that is the true expression of what you want for yourself and another person. That is simply real pure love.
So a good way to look at love is to consider its maturity in yourself. As maturity will show you the purity so to speak. The maturity is simply how much conditionality you need around love. I would go as far as saying that unless love is unconditional, its not really love at all, it is need and attachment being called love. I think its much better to call a spade a spade, as until you do, it's going to be hard to grow up.
I define an emotional adult as someone who naturally loves unconditionally. This can be turned on its head to say a healthy adult human is a natural expression of unconditional love.
A human who has conditionality around love is not yet fully emotionally mature, not yet an adult in love.
I think we live in a world ravaged by a rampant epidemic of neediness masked as love, but to add to it we are taught that the neediness is bad, and so we add another whole layer of emotional shame on top of the neediness.
This is denial, plain and simple. And the denial is self-policing, because of the stigma of appearing needy in others' eyes. The cycle of 'shame hiding neediness' fuels the epidemic. Children pretending to be adults, but really not able to fully walk yet.
So how do we pretend ?
Instead of being able to relate to someone in the present moment we project into the future and try and control that future. One of the main ways this projection is done is by using labels and contracts about relationships.
If I meet someone and concepts of monogamy, open relationships or polyamorous relationships are something that is relevant to them, I take it that they are living in a projected fantasy for security. The requiring of agreements and contracts before you can be in the present moment with someone is really just fear of the present moment.
If real growth is something that matters to you, the ability to be present is a good goal. I found this goal would both elude and delude me while I needed labels to project in the future about relating with others. But at the same time forcing yourself to be an adult when you are still a child is far more damaging.
When I have heard people talk about open or poly relationships these have often come across as masks for forms of power/control dynamics that can be just as present in monogamous relating. The most damaging things I have come across in relationships seem to occur when emotional children treat themselves or others as adults when really they need to treat themselves and others as children, and understand/admit what this really means for themselves on an emotional level. The moment you get this you are most rapidly becoming an adult and it's really why I wrote this piece.
If any of this makes any sense to you, here are some considerations to play with:
If you place yourself as a child in this context, and growing up is something you would want to consider, is there shame around feeling/admitting yourself a child? Can you love that child? Do you really feel that shame is a healthy thing to maintain?
The best way to move beyond shame is to admit what is real about it, to yourself and others, this helps it to lose its charge and frees your binding to that emotional state.
Being present means moving out of fantasy into reality; I believe calling a spade a spade can be especially relevant and particularly dynamic in this process when it comes to love. ==================== Inspired by C
I thought I would write a fun article about subjective reality, even though groups of us sort of agree on just enough to be thinking reality is 'objective'... its just a temporal agreement.
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Up until very recently our view of reality was defined by others, so others got to say and define what we look at as 'real'. I think this could be about to explode into many pieces.
Today this 'reality' is presented to us via the main stream media (MSM).
The interesting thing about the MSMis that it is consistent (this not what you would expect from a true accurate but diverse information source), MSM provides a 'consensus' view that pretty much agrees with itself. So even if objective reality were real, a true communications media would and should not operate in consensus mode.
The MSM 'news' as a consensus presentation fits into a doctrine, it presents a painted picture of the reality we reside in. These days in the west that doctrine is built around the ideal of a liberal consumerist world. This doctrine has an invisible deity I like to call consumer God or Con God. As most of the major media organizations report to owners within the same financial establishment, the Con God mantra is based around constant GDP growth based on 'Keep borrowing, Keep buying, everything will be ok'.
It just so happens that this doctrine and its associated behavior pattern destroys the ecosystem we live in. It increases consumer reliance on centralized power to provide food and shelter as the ecosystem degrades. Look at the financial drivers of health-care to better understand this process closeup.
Our Gods
For a few thousand years we had the Judeao Christian 'One God' or JC God as the arbiter of consensus. The JC God media establishment was run by churches. If you challenged this you were taken out. Some did and it was nasty, but we managed to get as far as expanding our thought to realizing that the earth was round and it was not in the center of the universe.
Since the two great world wars we have been in a mythology transition from the JC God to Con God.
With the rise of the western system of democracy, the thinkers of the day working for the owning class of society realized that a system of managing these 'free thinking democratic populations' was required otherwise 'who knows what the plebs would vote for'.
(a more recent term for this used by Noam Chomsky is 'The engineering of consent')
The solution to this was designed in the form of the consumer society, to make that work a dogma was devised to make the worker who delivered components into the machine a willing participant.
It was realized that both the media and educational establishments were required to be reformed to effectively support this new consensus dogma and both the funds and execution teams for this were put in place early in the 19th century. (to better understand how this was done, this is an enlightening interview with the man who was chosen by congress to explore a part of this process)
The religion of Con God worked, it was superior to JC god and JC God now takes a small back seat in the mainstream reality that people live within. (I wrote a post 'Why Consumerism wins' to play with why Con God works so well as superior viral myth to JC God).
Many today worship Con God. They operate as minions and components of the establishment that pays those that created and manage this system today, whilst the MSM plays the front man whose job it is to keep the myth intact and making sense.
One God
A few thousand years of JC God administration did a great job of fixing the ideas of a one god world into our collective brains.
It lynches on this thing 'consensus'.
One God, or monotheism is a powerful idea and I hope I can convey the impact it has on our present views, in respect to 'reality'.
One God is essentially the same idea as saying 'one world view' or 'reality is only this way', just said in different words. It is also the same concept as 'consensus'
The idea of consensus then links in with 'this is how things are' or 'our way is right'.
The concept of anything at all 'being right' stems from this.
When you have many many myths/religions existing at once or you would realize that reality can not be 'consensus' the concept of 'being right' itself dissolves, right and wrong are simply relative concepts. But live in a world where everyone agrees with you and you may drop back into the thinking of being 'right' when you see something that challenges you.
I hope its obvious that nothing can truly be right or wrong in the abstract, only relativism's like 'Is this the *right* way to the chemist?'. can be answered truly in that 'yes that is the right way to the chemist'.
Nothing else is right or wrong, its just there, it just exists. And because it exists it is. Of course you can try to pretend its wrong in the absolute sense, but the moment you do this, you have entered a delusional state about reality. This is very common, especially around things we disagree with or that disturb us.
When one is right, another has to be wrong and a new entity is created, the one who decides.
Traditionally the one who decides was the priest in the church. You could go and ask them and get their opinion. Today in the Con God system, this process operates via the MSM, supported by the State, which in turn is validated and enabled by the noble establishment we call Science.
Science, Objective Reality and One God
Science is a product of our one god religions. Science and the scientific method itself could not exist with out the backdrop of one god.
How so ?
Our concept of Science relies on 'objective reality' to work, it is a fundamental requirement of the scientific method. Objective reality is the belief that everything 'out there' is consistent and the same for all beings that can experience it. Only then can an experiment reveal a result that can be tested and verified.
Science is built on consensus, that consensus can only form if there is already a consensus that objective reality is what forms the world we exist in.
Science has a pre supposition built in.
The scientific method (the way you take measurements and replicate these measurements to prove or disprove any given theory) could only emerge after a few thousand years of one god consensus being drilled into our collective brains. Only once there was enough bedrock of collective agreement on the nature of external reality (being the same for all under god) could something like Science take root.
If different parts of society believed in different realities then forget the scientific method, at least in terms of one based on an objective reality.
So contrary to what many believe, Science itself is another belief system. It has its own dogmatic requirements for it to hold. It just so happens that many years of religious indoctrination prepared society appropriately for a method of though like Science to work.
It is the inability of a person or scientist to see this obvious fact that makes science itself a dogma.
The Dogma of Science
The dogmatic root of science is the belief in objective reality. We must stress the world 'belief' here as this is all that it is. It forms a religious view that is so deep that many have a hard time going there and challenging it in their minds. Just like the heresies against JC God, even the consideration that objective reality is a fantasy concept is a heresy to the dogmatic view in science.
In a very practical example this the issue of has been glaring scientists in the face for nearly 100 years and most are still too scared to call a spade a spade.
Quantum Mechanics (QM), well known as the most successful scientific theory ever, makes a complete mess of the notion of objective reality. Simply put, QM maps out reality as a statistical time function, Ie what happens at any point in space-time is a probability. There are a few options for theories to get scientists out of this mess. Simplifying the debate somewhat, one is called 'wave function collapse' the other is called 'many worlds'. Wave function collapse says that the world is made real when the observer looks at it, while many worlds says that every world that can be created will be created.
Neither of these really work to make our results of QM fit what we have pre programmed our minds for regarding the existence of an objective reality.
It is not my understanding of true science to try and come up with something that fits a pre determined idea, this is normally called massaging the data. The true scientist is one who challenges the old consensus and comes up with something that better describes what is being seen.
Right Wrong and The Dyadic Myth
So the concepts of One God, Science, Objective Reality and what I will call 'being right' are simply all different facets of the same thing.
These ideas are all really the same style of mythology. I will call that mythology the 'dyadic myth' its based on duals (relations of twos) :
- One God: One God creates the world: I experience it
- Science: One Reality exists: the Observer measures it
- Objective Reality: One Reality exists: observers of Reality experience it
- Being Right: Reality exists: My explanation of reality is correct.
(In my early blog posts, i called this dyadic myth 'the great divide')
The Dyadic Myth and Violence
Once you understand how all these facets are really the same core dyadic mythology. You can move to the next step of understanding how this dyadic myth is inherently violent.
Within any dyadic world view, be it Science, Politics or Religion. Who gets to decide who is right ?
Often it is the more powerful, who is the 'right', then 'rightness' is inflicted upon another who doesn't agree...
The journey to the one God was a bloody and violent affair at every step, from its inception to where we are today. The bible charts some of the early days of the dyadic story in its gory detail, tribes had to be mashed together by bloodshed to force one god 'consensus' view upon them. It then took the military might of Rome to force this 'rightness' or what was becoming called 'righteousness' on the entire empire under Rome.
There is only one way out of dyadic violence and that is to understand and accept reality as it is. As I said earlier, the moment you try to make anything that exists wrong in anything other than a true relative sense, you have entered a delusional state.
Since much of politics and Science is presented in this way. You can now better understand these all as forms of collective delusion. They have little to do with anything that is real.
Instead the dyadic myth whether you call it 'us and them' or 'might is right' or 'I know and you don’t' is simply an effective way to impose ones will upon another.
Dyadic mythology, any facet of it, is a justification for violence.
Where we are today
Our present Con God religio, administered by the State via government, operates very much under a dyadic delusion.
Dyadic myths are inherently violent and our state is no different. One of the legal definitions of the State is 'The Monopoly On Violence'
This violence will always need a forum to play out in. Often this will take the from of wars, racism or more small scale family relational violence.
To see the delusion you just look it in the face. The religion of the state is thought of as if its some free choice, but there is no choice at all. Voting systems provide a unrealistic sense of freedom. There is no freedom, you can't say no to the state itself, whichever 'party act' is voted in and playing its game in government. If you don't pay taxes you get treated violently, and everyone involved will support this violence.
The claim we are a secular state (ie the state doesn’t care what religion you follow) is a lie. You are forced into state religion from birth and its illegal not to pay the religious donations in the form taxes. You can't in truth follow another mythology within the state, there is no secularism in this model. You can only follow religions that clearly are no threat to the State religio.
Reality Explodes
But State and dyadic dogmas aside, I want to get onto the matter at hand, namely the explosion of reality.
We have been living blind within a dyadic mythology for a long time now and the myth has been taken as real along with all its ramifications about there being one solid 'objective reality'.
As we are stretching and blinking in new sunlight, I want to touch on some ideas about what this could mean.
It all starts with meaninglessness, of the main stream media, and actually of everything else too.
As the one reality Con God and MSM doctrine crumble, the MSM will dissolve and be relegated to its rightful place within the the media multi verse of Internet information (see media continuum article).
The lines of everything will continue to get more and more blurred and I seriously expect some sort of psychological shock to hit us all. The truth of no objective reality and that of multiversal reality sinking home could be difficult for some to integrate themselves with.
Those that still trust the MSM and think it somehow 'forms the world' will be the most challenged. What happens when this MSM view is repeatedly proven false ? This is well on the way. Those that have engaged and found multiple info sources on the net to discover their Mistrust the MSM are safe (luckily Mistrust in the MSM is now at record high). Those that do still trust the MSM will become more and more divorced from reality, at the same time they will still need to project the violence of their dyadic views somewhere. There will be a lot of desperate attempts to blame other groups and much devision for these people.
We are hooked on a dyadic world view of a solid external reality. There is comfort in one right thing to believe in 'out there'. Consensus gives a very cosy sense of security. But this is an avoidance of our own inner fears. In order to maintain this feeling of security, any contrary view has to be looked at as a joke, a 'conspiracy theory'. Otherwise the solid and secure 'objective' 'one' reality msm doctrine explodes and takes the believer with it.
Well it is all exploding, and I think the only sane way to go is inward. Look at the violence inside and then it no longer needs to be projected via some dyadic myth onto another group, person or thing.
Reaching out into the mutiverse holding onto Con God will shatter you into fragments of other peoples ideas... Given enough time, at least you would find out you are not anyone else’s ideas.
Reality is a subjective experience, there is nothing 'out there'. You can decide what 'it' or anything means for you and it can work, because there is nothing out there except what you say is there.
"The only reality is that there is no reality".
I would say that anyone who 'tells' you 'its' something else is trying to have you.
So, am I ?
As the connectivity between individuals across the planet increases exponentially, the dyadic control structures fall away, drowned by other facets of reality that minify ancient centralized one god objectivity into the multi-verse.
A huge amount of psychic and physical energy is being released that normally would move to a violent projection onto the 'other' in the dyad.
Ride the explosion inwards, I wonder if I will meet you there one day.
I have started playing the piano again after quite a break.. I feel the emotions surge through me these days, stronger than ever, i have so much less shame in me about letting its all hang out so my playing just keeps opening up as I do, its great to let it all out through music and movement.
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Its a land of extremes as I go deeper and deeper into my inner world.
I have to accept and enjoy my killer to enjoy my saint. It a paradox as everything is in there, sadness, joy, anger, hate, love, fear, attractions, repulsions, contractions and expansions. I have been surfing the deep waves and I like it there. You are here too.
Freedom and opening comes when I'm not judging but allowing myself to be whatever is there in the deep water, it wants to move in me. Sometimes that has felt pretty unpleasant. The hardest places to allow for me are the destructive forces there. Allowing myself to be seen as destructive and really feel that as a part of me is scary.
Uncompromising me means being with whatever is there and allow its impact on the world. No holding it in and no editing, scary and super exhilarational because actually, I have not the faintest clue what's going on or who I am.
So I keep opening, in the depths of me, i touch a raging fire, it wants to move, i feel my wanting to hold and control, a wanting me to be a certain way, an idea of me, it hurts to try to be an idea, so I let it free. It hurts someone else, or does it, i don't really know but i feel even more vulnerable as it moves out into the world.
I feel more life and my body softens, i sense more space inside and the life force in me grows as i release yet an other idea of who I was trying to be
Dropping into a unknowing deeper deep, I unfold to look around again, and I find you there with me. I lose the line between where I end and you start, or are you simply there in me ?
The Sun is waking up after a nearly 10-year sleep, there has been some major activity recently and the sun seems headed toward another period of pronounced activity, expected for 2013, the last of which occurred in 2001.
"On August 1st around 0855 UT, Earth orbiting satellites detected a C3-class solar flare. The origin of the blast was Earth-facing sunspot 1092. C-class solar flares are small (when compared to X and M-class flares) and usually have few noticeable consequences here on Earth besides aurorae. This one has spawned a coronal mass ejection heading in Earth’s direction."
“This eruption is directed right at us, and is expected to get here early in the day on August 4th,” according to astronomer Leon Golub. “It’s the first major Earth-directed eruption in quite some time.”
I felt this one hit and some aftershocks. Over the years I have been checking out how they affect me, I was aware of the activity last time around in 2000-2001. This time around I am getting much clearer on how they actually feel as they come in.
This was a biggie, a challenge to stay present right trough it. But also quite a treat to check out, I had to take the time out, take it really easy and stay tuned in. If I don't do that, I find them destabilising on my system, they can really push my field around. Its great to practice with as a sensitivity training.
If I stay locked into the earth's field, that where I find I can feel it. At the simplest level I feel it like a push forward, a shift or an acceleration of vibrational feeling.
I have noticed they take 3-4 days from the eruption to when I feel anything, which about matches the journey time for the solar particles to hit the earth's field, then there is about 1-2 days of wobble and rebalancing as the earth's field settles into a stable state again. The other thing that I notice is how it affects the people around me, that can take up to one more week before they seem affected.
I put this down to people levels of connection to the earth's field, as I normally see it hit people over period as they sort of 'soak up' the field shift. And the most disconnected, don't seem affected at all.
Here's the vid
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thm6SCv-sj0
And on august 7 there was another big one that is just passing us by right now but its a glancer not a direct hitter.
"On August 7th (1825 UT), magnetic fields around sunspot 1093 became unstable and erupted, producing a strong M1-class solar flare. Several amateur astronomers caught the active region in mid-flare, while NASA's Solar Dynamics Observatory recorded an extreme ultraviolet movie of the entire event. The eruption hurled a coronal mass ejection (CME) into space, just missing a direct sun-Earth line. Forecasters expect the cloud to deliver no more than a glancing blow to our planet's magnetic field when it billows by on August 9th or 10th--not a major space weather event."
I have never felt so open and alive, so vulnerable and so connected, so out of control and so OK. So soft and so sweet. But uncompromising all the same.
Why do I feel uncompromising ? When I feel truly OK, I seem to lose the feeling of any reason to compromise. In any way.
Its OK to be alive as every breath moves my blood from head to toe. My body an instant in the infinity. But it is my home for that fleet moment, I love my home.
I feel available to real choice, to doing anything, that feels good, for everyone involved, without compromise. That is my true body. But without my physical body how could I ever know that.
All i know is me. As all I can know is relation to that. Everything else can not be real, it is imaginary. But i know the reality in all imaginings as my relation to those imaginings.
Things change and I exist as the relational experience of change. It happens in me not too me. I change and so do you if you know me. I suspect you do even if you don't.
It seems a good idea to be practising an aware non-resistance to all experience, to smooth the way to expanding my experience of me.
If everything out there is an imagining I can cultivate the belief ‘If its happening now, that's what i needs to be happening or it would not be happening’ fully responsible and victimless.
Response able means to have the ability to validate what's happening now, present in it, if I don't like it, I can consciously change my response to it. (a habitual response is not response able. Stop, Maybe i want a new me.)
I change my universe on a penny when i stop to realise i can. The only thing that defines if i stay in any new universe is me. I validate the reality or invalidate it to choose again. It can be conscious or unconscious. I create my cage the moment I forget this. I need a cage to have the experience of growing out of a cage. Its all OK. The meaning I provide determines the effect in my experience and I step into that new reality.
I cultivate my imagining into a multidimensional expansion of i am. Its all ways me so why not add more to my all. why ? if its fun. So why not pick a fun imagining.
Its a choice in the play to see it my way. If its not my way and i see it as not my way, I have imagined myself a cage again, was that really fun. It can be, if I did it, I will let it be, to be less then more is still a cool door.
My imagination is the superhighway to all information flows to reach my conscious now experience. My portal to all dimensions and all existences, past, future, present and parallel. Multidimensional in nature, my nature, sensitive to non-ordinary and ordinary realities intertwined and experienced as me now. The more I allow this, the more I find my deeper expanded identity.
I move beyond conventional boundaries of experience and I move back again.
Its a cloudy day in London, I feel open and endless.
Be master of yourself-everywhere. And all you do proves true. Zen saying
Amazing how much stuff coming up and letting go. Put up a fight to hold on.
I stopped feeding and carrying a load of people over the last six months. Its taken the lid of a whole bunch of stuff. All bubbling up now, but I clearly see why I was doing it all as it moves on. Unworth and victim vamp, anger about it and a load of shame to hold it all in. Is it really me.
Nice to finally be letting go of that story. Its quite an identity. Without it I even more get to do what I want. But what is that ? scarily I have to do it moment to moment. Feel my way, cant plan much any-more as its too mental. Even more feeling. Its like there are no ends or edges in this place.
There is some great stuff in this Advita game but nearly all who is see playing it have a level of BS they are hiding in. Its used as a way of staying small and meek, which i find boring. I call them Advaita Space Cadets.
I love him and where he is coming from but he spaces out at about 4 mins in, really he plays a typical avoidance game. Avoiding his passion by disowning his selfhood. He is obviously passionate and calls it 'just what is happening', sure, its is 'whats happening' duh; but, dropping ownership and authorship is not sexy and not powerful. Its a great way of being a doormat and learning how to stay as one. Is that really a good thing.. well i guess it is if that what you want to be.
Yes all is empty and I is pure emptiness.. but I is.. and 'I' have excited intent, denial of which is just denial of myself. This self denial is not true emptiness, its simply a non acceptance of who we are. Don't buy the bullshit, its shame of self empowerment. You are empty, but the more of you you are the more you have all the power to move and express whatever is true without having to tone it down for anyone in words or any other games.
Happiness in abdication is the message and sure you can be free in that. But I don't believe a word of it. If it is your truth to be totally abdicated, then i would say yes I believe you. But I certainly have more passion and excitement for life than that.
So for me these Advaita guys are lost and playing it very safe, they draw meaning in no meaning of self. Meaning in no meaning is the egoic trap of the Advaita word game. But to pretend no identity is an attachment none the less. Avoidance of anything is in fact the opposite of being unattached to it.
At the end of the day the modern Advaita point simply becomes an attention seeking, having denied themselves, the 'teachers' have to keep talking about it to get the self validation from others.
OK they have discovered some basic facts about consciousness and experience, but to me the modern Advaita presentation is an escape, a complaint, and simple self denial, a 'spacing out' of life. I don't see fulfilment in that, its a stage and a valid place of experience, sure.
I am grateful for the offering as its a reflection of who I don't want to be. And I am glad there is so much more.
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I am making a list of the advaita 'space cadets' below as i find them.
Here Jeff is on about the failure of seeking. In this talk he does not do so much of the typical adviata abdication speak but goes on with another common advaita theme around 'seeking'. He seems like a nice chap but to me is simply talking about being an adult and accepting life for what it is. If dad had told him 'your ok son' maybe he would not have had to be doing all this seeking in the first place. What is a bit sad is that he calls is a 'failure' to seek. Well if you 'grew up' after the journey of looking, what's so bad about that ? He has a good space out at 7:15 talking about the 'threat of hopelessness' i recon he could have actually gone into something interesting about his own personal fears there but, he stays out of being present and keeps in his story.
Around 2:12 Wayne says 'Consciousness is not an object and the only thing we can possibly know is something.' Again abdication of responsibility. Consciousness, sure is not an object, but can and does experience in the world we live in. The experience is real even if the object is not. And this real experience of the object can and is known even though is not an object. So he is talking nonsense again. He then goes on to make it all about the mystical and at at 3:25 after talking about mystical union he seems to enter a delusional state and spaces out before he jumps back and says 'so this is what we are about'
I see the collusion of this illusion, its funny to watch it endure. Still you and i try while we see the lie, its time's not so long now I'm sure. So try not to faint when i knock at your gate with a date to the sparkling core. Its really too late, you can only stagnate, while I dance at your grave wanting more.
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Its been quite a discovery for me and it feels like a liberating revelation as it sinks through my being.
I recently spent a week in Spain doing group work with 23 amazing people. It was a great place to clearly see how we were all colluding to keep ourselves small and in roles.
I realised how lonely I had been not meeting people in their true selves. I reaffirmed it was time for me at least to come out and start doing everything I could to meet people in more real ways.
One of the main things I saw that people were afraid of in each other was what I call raw animal nature. Things like rage, anger, wanting to kill and raw sexual desire, these are all ever present with us but we seem to do everything we can to keep them hidden away.
I'm sad about that because this keeps our energy down and I think is one of the main causes of disease and depression. The more of this that becomes accepted integrated in a person the more strength and vitality they have.
I want to bring that more and more into my life. One of the best ways is to hang out with people that are not afraid of you when you show up in this way.
As this experience sinks in my whole body has been continuing to change inside. Its a process that started around six months ago and has been accelerating. The closest thing I have come across that describes this is what I have read about in kundalini texts. In daoisim I think it would be described as your core channels opening.
Its scary and exhilarating all at the same time. I am glad to have many years of chi gung under my belt, i can feel how much it has prepared my body, helping to smooth out and integrate the whole experience.
So the Greeks are capitulating and taking the loan, accepting debt slavery for the time being. Seems old Mount Olympus has been dormant too long. Iceland who crashed earlier look like they are heading toward some fundamental change. Their internal report on the situation does not look like a white wash and they are talking about making Iceland a safe haven for journalists so this can be exposed in the rest of the world.
I love the apparent metaphor of the the volcano in Iceland. Recently the unanimous vote to say no to more debt, Iceland starts to break out of debt slavery for real, days after the vote the volcano goes off.
The first local nation state is breaking free of the debt slavery system, maybe the gods are speaking. Its seismic and there is more to come.
Its all about consciousness of responsibility.. credit when used (given or received) in this way is not responsible.. in any human relationship.
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If i were purely physical matter how could i be self aware.. i see and i know i see. Apparently, this is my consciousness. This is Reflexive apparency as the knowing of the seeing makes it obvious that what you are seeing is not all that is, reflexive and apparent :)
Reflexive apparency of pseudo transparency, forgetting then letting the world be its fantasy. Reflexive apparency is a holographic panace, answers in everything, a fractal veracity. Reflexive apparency a maddening mediocrity, the moon and me spinning meaninglessly. Reflexive apparency is choosing endlessly, free to be all eventuality
"The idea of the placebo in modern times originated with H. K. Beecher. He evaluated 15 clinical trials concerned with different diseases and found that 35% of 1,082 patients were satisfactorily relieved by a placebo alone ("The Powerful Placebo," 1955). Other studies have since calculated the placebo effect as being even greater than Beecher claimed. For example, studies have shown that placebos are effective in 50 or 60 percent of subjects with certain conditions, e.g., "pain, depression, some heart ailments, gastric ulcers and other stomach complaints."* And, as effective as the new psychotropic drugs seem to be in the treatment of various brain disorders, some researchers maintain that there is not adequate evidence from studies to prove that the new drugs are more effective than placebos."
"Forty years ago, a young Seattle cardiologist named Leonard Cobb conducted a unique trial of a procedure then commonly used for angina, in which doctors made small incisions in the chest and tied knots in two arteries to try to increase blood flow to the heart. It was a popular technique—90 percent of patients reported that it helped—but when Cobb compared it with placebo surgery in which he made incisions but did not tie off the arteries, the sham operations proved just as successful. The procedure, known as internal mammary ligation, was soon abandoned ("The Placebo Prescription" by Margaret Talbot, New York Times Magazine, January 9, 2000).* "
The book 'From Placebo to Panacea: Putting Psychiatric Drugs to the Test'
From The New England Journal of Medicine: This book, written entirely by academic psychologists, is a dose of strong medicine. A critical review of the psychoactive-drug literature, it asserts essentially that there is inadequate scientific information to conclude that psychoactive drugs are substantially more effective than placebos. The editors remind us that the interpretation of any research data is likely to reflect the researcher's bias: in this case, a bias toward biologic treatment, the pharmaceutical industry's financial motives, or both. They say, "We feel it is important to balance this bias by adopting a counterattitude based on a determined skepticism." Their intellectual, scholarly review is difficult to dismiss; yet the reader may feel their conclusions are immoderate.
Placebo illuminates our struggle between responsibility and abdiaction. The notion of a placebo demonstrates (if you are prepared to drop your denial) that you are responsible for your own body, the health of it.
If taking various placebo drugs can cure specific ailments that you know about. You are literally curing specific issues because you 'believe' they have a chance of being cured as you take the placebo.
To me most healthcare is a nonesense.. and so is most alternative healthcare.. and this should be obvious to anyone once you look at the efficacy of the placebo. It is probably the most powerful drug known.
If all hospitals only prescribed placebos you could arguably beat the current cure rate and make all hospitals more effective.
* One of the top five killers in a hospital is 'medical error' this would be removed as they would no longer be prescribing poison to people, just placebos. More people would get well in hospital from this fact alone.
* As placebos are at often as effective as drugs you get free drugs and free curues.
There would be an issue though. People would have to look at why they were getting sick once they realised there is no cure other than belief. If you can make yourself well its a small step to realising you made yourself ill.
Luckily people seem to be catching on ! check these out
My air is your air, my water is your water, my particles are your particles and the physical me is the physical you separate only by make believe grandfather time in the ever-inflating bubble of the speed of light. Experienced as forms of the formless, we dance the holographic happening of myriad-mirrored perspective, ...me with you in me and you with me in you. Constant, timeless and still
Mr seeker, see if you can find a separate entity that has identified itself as a body, have a deeper look.. on investigation you may find it absolutely absent.
"The difference between a mature human being and a child is that a child is always quite sure of how things ought to be. They are quite clear the way life must be, should be, has got to be, and if it isn't, they get very fussy.
A mature human being finally comes to the realization that quite a few things are just how they are. They can relax and function amidst life's imperfections without the need to be recognized or to condemn. Life is not perfect. Have you ever met the child who doesn't want the gold star? It is a child's perspective. In order to move through life and become mature, one realizes that what happens in life is that people are different. This realization is not just in terms of other people, but also ones self and life's events.
A mature human being can forgive people. They can accept that people have limitations, and they do what they can. A child can not. Children want things done according to their wishes. Because that's how they get their place in the world."
Extract from An Informal Discussion on Taoist Meditation by Bruce Kumar Frantzis
